Performance anxiety can feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders, especially if you're an entrepreneur or professional. It might show up before a presentation, a big meeting, or even during everyday conversations. As a therapist specializing in Relational Framework Therapy (RFT), I want to share how understanding your relationship with anxiety can help you overcome it.

What Is Performance Anxiety?

Performance anxiety happens when we focus too much on the idea of failing or being judged. This often pulls us away from what really matters—the purpose behind our actions. RFT teaches us that our experiences, thoughts, and emotions are connected in a web of relationships. How we respond to anxiety depends on how we relate to it.

Steps to Overcome Performance Anxiety

1. Recognize the Relationship
2. Anxiety isn’t your enemy; it’s your body’s way of saying something matters to you. Instead of trying to fight it, acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “I see you, anxiety, and I know you’re here because this is important to me.”
3. Shift Your Attention
4. Anxiety wants you to focus on yourself—how you look, sound, or feel. Instead, focus on the value you’re bringing. For example, if you’re pitching an idea, think about how it can solve problems for others.
5. Anchor in the Moment
6. Use grounding techniques to stay present. Feel your feet on the floor, take a slow breath, and remind yourself of your purpose. This helps create a healthier relationship with your anxiety.
7. Be Compassionate
8. RFT emphasizes compassion. Treat yourself kindly when you feel nervous. Instead of saying, “I’ll mess this up,” try saying, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing my best.”